The Cost of Staying Free

Author’s Note:
This reflection emerges from a season of silence, discernment, and refusal to trade conviction for comfort in a time that rewards noise over truth.


I haven’t been in the blog space for a while—not because I lost my voice, but because life demanded more than commentary, and I refused to cheapen clarity in a season full of noise.

Life, transitions, and responsibilities all played a role. But if I’m honest, the deeper reason was bandwidth. There’s only so much energy one person has to respond to everything at once. What I still struggle to believe is that my writing took a back seat to the constant barrage of trash flooding timelines and media sources.

It’s official: I’m over selective outrage, incomplete assessments, entitlement, and hatred covered in bright paint.

The longer I live, the more I understand why reading is fundamental, why critical thinking matters, and why Jesus looked at the people and saw sheep without a shepherd. I am genuinely bothered by how easily folks justify—no, align themselves with—platforms and ideologies that stand in direct opposition to truth and justice.

I cannot understand how descendants of kings and queens continue to accept scraps from massa’s table just to remain in the big house.

I don’t understand how marginalized people consistently choose against their own self-interest in an attempt to be supremacy-adjacent.

Maybe it is environmental. Some of us have stared at the current state of affairs for so long that we can’t imagine anything more—unless we sell out for less.

Maybe Jay-Z’s words from The Story of OJ have created a different mentality: If they think I’m a nigga whether successful or not, I might as well give them what they want.

I thank God—from the bottom of my American African heart—that a different mentality was instilled in me long ago.

God gave me reason.
God gave me purpose.
God gave me a sound mind.

And that mind will never submit itself to legalistic, suppressive, and destructive systems built by weak-minded, impotent people.

My mind will never accept respectability politics from those who share my melanin count. My mind will never justify the belittling of the weak. And I refuse to waste my energy trying to convert keyboard cowards into moral thinkers.

This season we’re in? People who have practiced evil are learning that FAFO isn’t slang—it’s reality, unfolding in physical, spiritual, and psychological ways.

Joshua once told the people a decision had to be made.

Not a threat.
Not a demand.
Just truth.

Choose God—or settle.

Before they answered, Joshua drew the line:
“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

This moment isn’t about groupthink. It’s not about siding with whoever looks like they’re winning. It’s about the life you actually want.

If you want what this depreciating world offers—stand on that.
If you want more—stand on that.
If you ride bandwagons, don’t complain when they drop you off and keep moving.

As for me?

I’m staying free.

Conviction costs, but captivity costs more.

The Playbook Hasn’t Changed—So Change Your Strategy

Oppressors don’t invent new rules; they recycle the same playbook that brought them to the dance. When I played team sports, every team had the same rulebook—but each team built its own playbook, adjusting the scheme to neutralize an opponent’s strengths. The rules didn’t change; the strategy did.

That’s what we’re facing now. When tragedy strikes, we’re told to be “empathetic” so long as it’s palatable to certain groups. We’re told to pray and send “good vibes” as long as our prayers don’t disturb anyone’s comfort. In this nation, even “human decency” often comes with conditions.

Pastor Kristian A. Smith once said he doesn’t just want Christians to be more biblically literate—he wants us to be better people. That lands hard because so many of us think we already know what Jesus wants from us in the face of the evil we’re witnessing. But if we’re honest, we’ve been off base.

Take Jesus’ teaching: “Do not resist an evildoer, but if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also”(Matthew 5:39). We’ve preached passivity from that line, as if surrender somehow convicts the aggressor. Naw, bro—context is everything.

In the world Jesus was addressing, folks touched others with the right hand; the left was reserved for unclean tasks. A strike to the right cheek meant a backhand—a gesture of domination used on someone deemed beneath you. In some legal discussions of that era, a backhanded blow carried a heavier penalty because it was the ultimate public insult to one’s dignity.

Jesus wasn’t telling people to accept humiliation. Turning the left cheek forces a decision: the aggressor must either back down or strike with the open palm—the way you would strike an equal. That move is not cowardice; it’s moral jiu-jitsu. It rejects shame, exposes the hierarchy, and declares, “My honor doesn’t come from you; it comes from God.”

Imagine if we lived like human dignity actually had greater value than optics. Imagine a world where humiliation had a cost. But in the old playbook, domination is the point—silence, submission, and stillness are the goals.

I refuse to be timid in a world that misuses my faith to keep me docile. Christ did not call me to be humiliated in the name of “progress.” The same Jesus who taught cheek-turning as resistance also flipped tables in a rigged economy (Mark 11:15–17; John 2:13–17). That wasn’t a tantrum; it was a targeted act to restore the dignity of those being exploited.

So miss me with cheap grace that baptizes compromise. Don’t just say, “It’s okay, you’ll be better.” Stop it. Don’t only pray about a situation; pray that God makes you an answer to that prayer (James 2:17). God has not called you to passivity. God has called you to move the needleexpose the plan, and adjust your strategy.

The playbook of oppression hasn’t changed:

  • Shame to shrink you.
  • Silence to isolate you.
  • Spiritual gaslighting to domesticate you.

So change your strategy:

  • Name the insult and stand in God-given dignity (Genesis 1:26–27).
  • Refuse the shame and demand equal treatment (Matthew 5:39).
  • Disrupt exploitative tables and rebuild just ones (Mark 11:15–17; Isaiah 58).
  • Pray and act—faith with works (James 2:14–18).
  • Organize courageously in beloved community (Acts 2:42–47; Micah 6:8).

The rulebook of the Kingdom hasn’t shifted. But it does require holy adjustments in a hostile arena. So—change your scheme. Reclaim your dignity. Confront the blow. Overturn the table. Win—with conscience, courage, and community—by any means necessary that honor the God who stamped you with glory.

Scripture to meditate on: Matthew 5:38–42; Micah 6:8; Isaiah 58:6–12; Mark 11:15–17; James 2:14–18.

Reflection prompts:

  1. Where have I confused passivity with Christlikeness?
  2. What “table” in my context needs overturning—and what would rebuilding look like?
  3. How can I become part of the answer I’m praying for this week?

44: Grace in the In-Between

Today I turn 44. Birthdays mark more than candles on a cake — they invite us to pause, to breathe, and to take inventory of both the goodness of God and the weight of life. For me, this birthday feels like standing in the in-between: caught between deep gratitude and very real difficulty.

I am grateful. Grateful that God has sustained me through every season, even the ones I thought might break me. Grateful for family, ministry, and the countless ways love has shown up. Grateful because the testimony of my life is that God has been faithful, even when I have been weary.

But I must also be honest: this year has not been without difficulty. The responsibilities of leadership, the trials that come with caring for others while managing my own humanity, and the silent battles of the heart are all present. To turn 44 is to stand at a crossroads where blessing and burden hold hands.

And yet, maybe this is where true faith is lived out — in the tension. The Apostle Paul once wrote, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair… struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9). Those words ring deeply for me today. They remind me that difficulty does not cancel gratitude, and gratitude does not erase difficulty. Both can coexist, and both can shape me into who God is calling me to be.

So as I mark this birthday, I choose to see it as a sacred pause — a moment to honor both the goodness and the struggle. Gratitude tells me God is still writing my story. Difficulty reminds me that I cannot write it alone. Together, they push me closer to the One who knows the plans He has for me (Jeremiah 29:11).

Here’s to 44 — a year of walking honestly in the tension, trusting that even here, in the in-between, God’s grace is sufficient.

A Blessing for Year 44

May the God who has carried you thus far carry you still.

May the weight of difficulty never silence the song of gratitude.

May your steps be ordered, your heart be strengthened,

and your spirit find joy in both the sunshine and the shadows.

And may this year be marked by grace upon grace,

until your testimony shines brighter than your trials.

Amen.