Dr. Charles W. Ferguson

For years, many people have struggled with the idea of truly loving him or herself. The challenge has been finding the medium between being full of ego and walking in humility. Yet, the world today has dictated the necessity for learning how to love oneself in more pragmatic and intentional ways.

In times past, I used to believe that it was more of an honorable thing to love others, give others preference over myself, and caring for others to my own detriment. Reality taught me that putting myself fully to the side was not only an unhealthy practice, but it was a severely dangerous practice also.

In order to be effective for others, your purpose, and your destiny, we must understand the importance of a simple term called self care. It is the most important weapon in our quest to be relevant, strong, and life-changing to our environment.

Today when you go and take care of your kids, fulfill tasks at work, or even spend time with all types of love ones, remember that it is OK to say no. You’re not an evil person if you decide that you must take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. It is OK to want to watch Netflix and be by yourself. It is absolutely normal to go out to dinner and enjoy a meal without gossip.

Love yourself. Love yourself enough to make sure that you are strong, kind to you, and forgiving of what you have not done until now.

#selfcare

#thoughtsbythestream

In a short time, I will be celebrating the milestone of my first published book–Led to the Stream: Refreshing in Life’s Valley. I am grateful to God for the opportunity to share my story and journey with people who feel that they have reached the lowest point of their lives. The goal of the book is to let anyone know that there is more after challenging seasons. God will help you navigate through the difficult moments to become a better version of yourself that the world desperately needs.

While all of these ideas are necessary to be explored in written form, I must admit that this past week has challenged me more than ever to take time to address some taboo in our world. Normally, I might take the time to address the injustices that plague our social commentary. At other moments, my keys would lead me to type about the supremacist complex dominating all areas of media. Yet, I want to take this moment to do something that is totally against my personality. I want to share an inconvenient truth.

In 36 years of living, many different numbers represent markers along my journey. 20 is the number years of preaching years I will celebrate on February 13th. 7/11/14 is the date of birth of my son, Charles Jeremiah. 8/18/12 is the date I married my wife, Myrissa. 4 is the number of degrees I have received. 5/31/92 is the date of my conversion to being a disciple of Jesus Christ. However, one number has loomed over my life that I am no longer afraid to address–3. The number three is the number of times that I attempted suicide.

What? Why? You are a believer. You could not possible have that much going on.

These ideas and comments by people are part of the reason for me deciding to put a different face on mental and emotional health. For many years, people have struggled to find themselves in safe spaces where they can begin to sort through the challenges mental and emotional baggage stemming from traumatic moments and events in the past and present. People are living in an existence where Christians call depression, PTSD, anxiety, bi-polar disorder, and many other conditions demonic and evil spirits. That type of misguided theology has caused more pain and suffering for people gifted and loved by God than anyone else.

To take it another step, the culture of denial regarding inner pain and suffering has made other silent suffers continue to hide in the shadows rejecting help and aid in the time of greater struggle and need. It is like the condition of the Gaderene Demoniac. No, I am not speaking of his mental, emotional, and spiritual condition. I speak to the community’s method of handling his plight.

Yes, the text say he was possessed by many demons. Yes, he broke chains and fetters regularly. However, I find it interesting that the people had enough wherewithal to chain and bind the man among the dead. People wrote off the humanness of the individual, because they were ill equipped to handle the difficulties in this man’s life.

Don’t focus on the miracle action of Jesus casting the demons away. Watch the initial actions of Jesus. Jesus went to the graveyard, approached the man, and asked him his name. Jesus established relationship/fellowship with the man that allowed him to expose his thinking and condition. Once he opened himself, Jesus gave what he had that led to the possessed man’s freedom. Funny. One moment of caring about the humanity of a chain man led to him returning home to his family and spread the message of his freedom.

I feel this brother. I remember the isolation. I remember the fear. I recognize the stigmas that come with confessing such hurt. I have encountered the loneliness. I listened to the comments of past love interest labeling me as a “spoiled only child” when I just needed comfort from my internal turmoil (one of many reasons why I didn’t marry her, thank God). Depression has been a powerful, familiar companion.

I am grateful that when life condemned me to the graveyard, God sent an authentic disciple by to speak to my broken humanity. I thank God for Jackie Brown, who cared about her pastor. I am honored that Derrick Holmes is a friend who just wants to make sure I’m tranquio. I am grateful for Jonathan McReynolds who called me in the nick of time before I finished the suicide note. I am grateful for Myrissa who walk me off the cliff of life. Randy Osborn and Eric Buell took the time to address the humanity of an African American male who faced lies of ruthless people. I thank God for Thomas Beavers, Jason and Melissa Flowers, Chris Russey, James Anderson, Michael Jackson, LiAndrea Goatley, Tammie Bradley, Mario Radford, and countless others who caught me at moments of my undergrad and adult existence that they may or may not know.

So many have caught me at crippling moments, but what about others like me? If you have read this publication today, I need and implore you to take a moment an examine your place in changing the dynamic and conversation about mental and emotional health. If you are not well versed, it is ok. I challenge you not to live in the denial of its existence. If you want to be the change, take the first step to love then learn. You may never know how far it will aid somebody in doing the greatest thing a human can do–get back up!

#mental #emotional #spiritual #grateful #reflectionsatthestream

Reminded My Blessing Was Not Generated From My Effort

When we look at the landscape of our society, it is very apparent that more people are demonstrating attitudes energized by over inflated ego. The problem with the trend is that most people do not realize that the issues that are generated and promoted by egotistical people end up having a long term effects on society, environments, families, and even organizations.

At the end of trips like these, we discover that individuals driven by pursuits formed in the deep recesses of inflated egos ultimately crash and burn. Do not get me wrong, lessons are always learned from the good and bad presentations of lives lived in the manner. It is our responsibility to extract the lessons that will aid us in not tripping on the intoxicating nature of our egos.

In the Bible, David had a moment where he decided that the kingdom was all about him rather than about God. In that moment of thinking of himself more highly then he ought, David decided to take a census that God did not authorize. This account was to show David that he was greater than God. Even though the Prophet said don’t do it, David went ahead.

In the process, God revealed to David that his minute greatness could not match the judgment and power of the Almighty. David had to learn many lessons because of this bad judgment call. God reminded him that the kingdom did not belong to David. At best, David was a manager of a kingdom responsibility.

We must never forget that when God entrusts us with a responsibility, fruit of that labor is not our own. Everything that God has granted us the privilege to involve ourselves with has His name written all over it. We must always walk in humility and remember that it was not our ability that brought us to this place. Our positioning and our privilege was given by God Almighty.

So the next time you or I begin to believe our own hype, let us take a lesson from David. Take a step back and consider where you started and how far you have come. David went from the pastor to the palace. David was the least likely to be king, but God chose him because of the heart of worship that pointed back towards heaven.

When reflecting in that manner, the reflection will serve as medicine that will allow your humility to be at the forefront and the sickness of the inflated ego to subside. We may have worked hard to oversee the God-given responsibility, but we still needed the Lord to strengthen us and give us wisdom to carry out his plan. The blessing is not about us, but it always points back to how a powerful God is merciful and gracious to work his loving will through us.

#reflectionsbythestream

#ego

#deliverance

#renew

#refocus