Dr. Charles W. Ferguson

I realize that it seems cliché to talk about love on Valentine’s Day. However, I think it is necessary to reflect on the nature of love that extends beyond the romantic. It is important that every day, 365 days out of the year, that the enterprise of love between human beings is fully examined, expressed, and engaged.

I recognize more than ever that my existence in this world would not be possible without the full expression of love at the high and low moments of my life. I can never repay anybody that is ever walked with me, talked with me, and let me know that my existence was priceless and worth it.

Many days, it can be difficult to look at yourself and say my existence has value. There are some people that on this day will be lamenting because there’s nobody that will send them a card, take them to a meal, or even engage in any of the marketing ploys brought on by the day.

I want to use my platform to let you know that no matter what the day will bring, you are absolutely important to the enhancement of this world. I want to use the space to just let somebody know you are loved today and every day. I know it is hard to believe sometimes that people still have any kind of emotional attachment or engagement with other people beyond social media or any other types of platforms.

Yet, you need to know that you are loved for all of your humanness. Your uniqueness is necessary. Your talent will enhance our world. Your beauty creates greater enhancement to the landscape. We need you.

We need you to be whole. We need you to be well. We need you to be intact. Heck, I need you as a part of this world to be the best version of yourself, as I need the same things for myself. In this world today, it is more important to love on one another then continue to perpetuate a landscape and space of hatred and negativity. Only when we genuinely care will we lift each other beyond the fragmented and divisive thought patterns that occupy our community and environment.Let us lift each other up. Love one another and watch change happen.

#love

#thoughtsbythestream

For years, many people have struggled with the idea of truly loving him or herself. The challenge has been finding the medium between being full of ego and walking in humility. Yet, the world today has dictated the necessity for learning how to love oneself in more pragmatic and intentional ways.

In times past, I used to believe that it was more of an honorable thing to love others, give others preference over myself, and caring for others to my own detriment. Reality taught me that putting myself fully to the side was not only an unhealthy practice, but it was a severely dangerous practice also.

In order to be effective for others, your purpose, and your destiny, we must understand the importance of a simple term called self care. It is the most important weapon in our quest to be relevant, strong, and life-changing to our environment.

Today when you go and take care of your kids, fulfill tasks at work, or even spend time with all types of love ones, remember that it is OK to say no. You’re not an evil person if you decide that you must take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. It is OK to want to watch Netflix and be by yourself. It is absolutely normal to go out to dinner and enjoy a meal without gossip.

Love yourself. Love yourself enough to make sure that you are strong, kind to you, and forgiving of what you have not done until now.

#selfcare

#thoughtsbythestream

In a short time, I will be celebrating the milestone of my first published book–Led to the Stream: Refreshing in Life’s Valley. I am grateful to God for the opportunity to share my story and journey with people who feel that they have reached the lowest point of their lives. The goal of the book is to let anyone know that there is more after challenging seasons. God will help you navigate through the difficult moments to become a better version of yourself that the world desperately needs.

While all of these ideas are necessary to be explored in written form, I must admit that this past week has challenged me more than ever to take time to address some taboo in our world. Normally, I might take the time to address the injustices that plague our social commentary. At other moments, my keys would lead me to type about the supremacist complex dominating all areas of media. Yet, I want to take this moment to do something that is totally against my personality. I want to share an inconvenient truth.

In 36 years of living, many different numbers represent markers along my journey. 20 is the number years of preaching years I will celebrate on February 13th. 7/11/14 is the date of birth of my son, Charles Jeremiah. 8/18/12 is the date I married my wife, Myrissa. 4 is the number of degrees I have received. 5/31/92 is the date of my conversion to being a disciple of Jesus Christ. However, one number has loomed over my life that I am no longer afraid to address–3. The number three is the number of times that I attempted suicide.

What? Why? You are a believer. You could not possible have that much going on.

These ideas and comments by people are part of the reason for me deciding to put a different face on mental and emotional health. For many years, people have struggled to find themselves in safe spaces where they can begin to sort through the challenges mental and emotional baggage stemming from traumatic moments and events in the past and present. People are living in an existence where Christians call depression, PTSD, anxiety, bi-polar disorder, and many other conditions demonic and evil spirits. That type of misguided theology has caused more pain and suffering for people gifted and loved by God than anyone else.

To take it another step, the culture of denial regarding inner pain and suffering has made other silent suffers continue to hide in the shadows rejecting help and aid in the time of greater struggle and need. It is like the condition of the Gaderene Demoniac. No, I am not speaking of his mental, emotional, and spiritual condition. I speak to the community’s method of handling his plight.

Yes, the text say he was possessed by many demons. Yes, he broke chains and fetters regularly. However, I find it interesting that the people had enough wherewithal to chain and bind the man among the dead. People wrote off the humanness of the individual, because they were ill equipped to handle the difficulties in this man’s life.

Don’t focus on the miracle action of Jesus casting the demons away. Watch the initial actions of Jesus. Jesus went to the graveyard, approached the man, and asked him his name. Jesus established relationship/fellowship with the man that allowed him to expose his thinking and condition. Once he opened himself, Jesus gave what he had that led to the possessed man’s freedom. Funny. One moment of caring about the humanity of a chain man led to him returning home to his family and spread the message of his freedom.

I feel this brother. I remember the isolation. I remember the fear. I recognize the stigmas that come with confessing such hurt. I have encountered the loneliness. I listened to the comments of past love interest labeling me as a “spoiled only child” when I just needed comfort from my internal turmoil (one of many reasons why I didn’t marry her, thank God). Depression has been a powerful, familiar companion.

I am grateful that when life condemned me to the graveyard, God sent an authentic disciple by to speak to my broken humanity. I thank God for Jackie Brown, who cared about her pastor. I am honored that Derrick Holmes is a friend who just wants to make sure I’m tranquio. I am grateful for Jonathan McReynolds who called me in the nick of time before I finished the suicide note. I am grateful for Myrissa who walk me off the cliff of life. Randy Osborn and Eric Buell took the time to address the humanity of an African American male who faced lies of ruthless people. I thank God for Thomas Beavers, Jason and Melissa Flowers, Chris Russey, James Anderson, Michael Jackson, LiAndrea Goatley, Tammie Bradley, Mario Radford, and countless others who caught me at moments of my undergrad and adult existence that they may or may not know.

So many have caught me at crippling moments, but what about others like me? If you have read this publication today, I need and implore you to take a moment an examine your place in changing the dynamic and conversation about mental and emotional health. If you are not well versed, it is ok. I challenge you not to live in the denial of its existence. If you want to be the change, take the first step to love then learn. You may never know how far it will aid somebody in doing the greatest thing a human can do–get back up!

#mental #emotional #spiritual #grateful #reflectionsatthestream