Dr. Charles W. Ferguson

One of the great challenges of this period of pandemic is the full examination of our general lack of empathy and care toward one another. People have demonstrated on every level their desire to only focus on need to return to their vision of peace, comfort, and ease. The problem is that we have not learn our lesson from dwelling in that preoccupation. We have not made certain that those who we declare to care about most are well in every aspect of living. We have lost the art of raising a basic question. How are you?

What a profound question. It is one that is as open ended as possible. It one that can cause people to be confounded in every way. Imagine what level of mental and emotional energy that one question commands. A person can find his/herself overcome by the idea that anyone cares about the thoughts, attitudes, and experiences that rest within his or her journey. How are you? The question evokes an inquiry into the potential ups and downs that have taken place. One question has the power to illicit safe space or gossiping opportunity.

I want to lend myself toward the optimistic perspective of this question. I would hope that when I encounter people that sharing this three word interrogative does not provide fear or apprehension. I can understand that all individual do not feel comfortable sharing their feelings in a vacuum. Ladies and gentlemen, that sentiment is ok. Nobody owes you an audience. Nobody owes you a spilling out of feelings because you raise a question.

The idea of asking how are you is a gateway to creating greater community and relationship with people. It is the idea of showing that you care. It is the moment that disarms people from believing that all you want from them is something.

We have been dealing with quarantine, separation, death without closure, uprising in social justice, constant PTSD from continued acts of violence, crime everywhere, systems continuing to suppress, and so much more. I believe that is more imperative than ever to begin from a place of care than assumption. Life is hard. Yes, we have many things to do and accomplish. The fact remains that life is hard.

Life will have you staring at walls in your office questioning why you do what you do. Life will challenge your mettle of your existence while facing constant adversity. Life will put you to tears because you don’t feel safe to talk to anyone about your issues, problems, or anything else deep. Life will also make you long for the days of a Jackie Brown and a George Mimms.

I have told the stories before in different contexts, but I feel they apply here. When I was in Illinois pastoring, I reached a certain point when everything was going haywire. I reached the point where functioning in this call was not worth the stress, time, or harm that was affecting my family. At that time, I didn’t have anyone I could just unload these feelings. I was walking by myself. The feeling was lonely. All I wanted to do was what God purposed in my heart. I didn’t want to be seen. I wanted to help people the best I could.

I began to 100% loathe and despise the profession of pastoring. The call was never the issue. The profession was horrible. I felt myself becoming more and more cynical about people caring about me. It was evident that people wanted my talent. It was evident that people loved my gift. However, I realized that people who loved me were a minority. At least, my feeling were telling me that a minority of people cared.

If I remember correctly, Jackie Brown and George Mimms came to my office on back to back days. Deacon Mimms came and told me that he wanted “to bring me a golfer’s drink”. He brought me a gallon of lemonade and a gallon of iced tea. He sat in the office with me for a little bit and just offered wisdom and encouragement that to this day was so invaluable. He could tell that I wasn’t myself at all. He gave me the room to express myself and try to understand what I was feeling. I was so frustrated and angry at that time. George Mimms looked at me square in the eye and said, “I know the Lord is with you and will take care of you. I also know that as long as I’m around, I will never let anyone drag another Black man down for anything.” I hope every time call his name he is in Heaven smiling knowing that I listened.

The next day, Jackie Brown came to my office. She started the conversation by saying, “Pastor, I have been watching. You have seemed like yourself recently. It has bothered me so much. That’s why I decided to come by and check on you to see if you were ok.” I wept for what felt like two whole minutes. I guess I needed that space. I felt like garbage at that time. I felt empty. I felt lifeless. That gesture let me know that I was safe to get it out of my system. At the moment, the space to human saved me from the prison of bombarding my soul with lies about who I was and what I was. One question unloaded a significant level of burden.

That period of my life challenged me not only to find a circle of help and trust in all times, but it challenged me to always assess a situation before me with grace filled eyes also. Raising the question present a couple of things for our consideration.

1. We become more sensitive to the circumstances of the moment. Some people do demonstrate consistency in their behavior. Significant truth exists behind the idea: When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Most individuals are attempting to do his or her best in navigate the spaces and attitudes of life. It is not always simple. It is not always rosy. It is not easy. People will be caught on an off day. Approach the moment from a place of grace. Galatians 6:1-5 tells us, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.” At our best, we are not attempting to judge and reduce the experience of our neighbor. We must address each moment with grace, because we may never know when we will be in need. Even though the writer addresses transgressions, we must understand that the principle extends beyond that. We must know that somebody might be in need of a grace moment that could lift him or her from that moment. Otherwise, we are not actively fulfilling the law or command of Christ.
2. Create the safe space for others. When we see most people, we are witnessing them on the other side of judgment, opinions, struggles, and other issues. Who wants to encounter a representative of Christ who has decided to help God by placing judgment on what they see. People need the room to be themselves. They don’t need another voice telling them who and what they are. They don’t need someone else attempting to quantify the struggle. People need to feel ok to not be ok. People want to move on from their challenges, but not at the cost more assumption. A person who struggling or facing abnormal challenges are not obligate to package his or her life to fit our idea of normal. We who claim to love God must fix our gaze and hands to create the space to work though the moment.

Before the snap judgment rises from your soul, stop and consider your surroundings. Consider the people that you hold dear. Do not bring your assessment to the party. Be the hands and feet of God that offer places for healing and deliverance. Be the person that honors the idea of people being their best selves. Be the person that stops and discerns the wellness of a person. Be the person that desires to see and witness collective wholeness rise as byproduct of believing in life more abundantly.

How are you, today?

This week has served as a seminal moment in my life. I have arrived at a moment of clarity about my existence and journey as a Black man in America. Like many, I watched on television the 10 minute assembly that rendered Derek Chauvin guilty of murdering George Floyd in Minneapolis, MN. As my wife and I watched, I uttered two thoughts. There is still more work to do. God, now I understand why you have led me in preaching and teaching this way. In that moment, things were becoming clear. However 30 minutes later, I would recognize how significant those words would be for me.

A member of one of my churches called me. She did not sound like her normal self. She told me that she heard about a shooting in area close to her niece. Found out that it was a police involved shooting. Her niece was fine, but a teenage girl was now dead. I began to pray. I found myself once again heavy with grief. Another member text me live videos from people that were in the area. I watched in horror. My grief turned to angst. Why? I knew this young lady was not going to be able to tell her story.

Sunday morning, I completed Part II of my sermon series, God Sees Me. I talked about Simon of Cyrene. I mentioned that his story was made possible because his sons, Alexander and Rufus, talked about it constantly. Those sons made an impact by never allowing the narrative of their father to be misconstrued or taken out of context. The gospel writer made the addition of this story significant by identifying Simon as the father of Alexander and Rufus. Mark humanized a person that would have only been addressed as an afterthought or other to the rest of the world.

My’Kyia Bryant is now suffering a great indignity that no human being should. Being repackaged.

She is now gone from this world. She died from four shots from a service revolver. She is being packaged as violent. She is being presented as an attacker. She is being used as a symbol of a trouble child. Yet, all of these narrative ascribed to her do not reflect the complete nature of the environment that led to her demise. So many people have spoken of her light, her smile, her intelligence. So many people continue to present the picture of a young woman attempt to defend herself from others. She wanted someone to intervene for her because others in the area refused to do so. She needed help.

Unlike other situations in the past, this one hit home differently. I am reminded of my time working at a youth residential center. The youth were considered to be “troubled”. I didn’t really care about that. I wanted to make a difference. We were trained in CPR, various levels of restraint, and other necessary concepts pertaining to the job. I was trained and prepared for any situation.

One night while working third shift, a young lady was having issues with someone on the floor. She was so desponded that she broke a mirror with the intention on killing herself. She waved that piece of glass to keep others away from her. I came upstairs and saw my co-worker attempting to keep her calm and trying to get the other kids back to their rooms. That young lady was in crisis. I asked to help because it would give my co-workers the opportunity to clear the halls and the room so they could find any other contraband and completely defuse the situation. My part in this process was the least of anything. They had done the hard part of making connection with the girl. That night, this child was saved. The next day she had the help needed. Going forward, she knew that she had people who cared about her.

The events of this week are a testament to what happens when compounded elements converge on a young life. I feel that it is important to state that we as a society should be to recognize that many things can be true at the same time. Why did this young lady feel the need to call the police? Why were people taking the time to observe the confrontation and intervene? Why did the last resort for peace choose deadly force as the only option?

I contend that the continued separation from the village concept plays a major role in the initial toxic environment. Before you assume I mean just a surface concept of a village raising a child, allow me to take you into deeper water. Growing I had at my disposal more than just my family. My village had attorneys, educators, entrepreneurs, preachers, etc. I could not go anywhere without seeing someone that knew me. I could not settle for mediocrity because my village was strong. It is only now that the village of my youth is beginning to age or die off. How many of our young people can say that?

We have so many people that get mad when you attempt to teach a child accountability, self-worth, and value that it can feel hopeless to instill something more in the next generation. The fact that within our community their is an equity gap for with our own children in how we treat and care for them can be challenging. We find ourselves having to constantly rise about superficial differences in order to attempt to raise one another up. We fight against one another due to constant toxicity. We feel disconnected even if we live ten feet away.

Our separation is magnified by constantly wrestling for crumbs at a table not meant for us. We have lost a sense of self-sufficiency trying to fit into a society and grouping hesitant to embrace us fully. People are willing to love the creativity, potency, and profitability of Black life, but constantly hate the packaging it resides in. Sports leagues make billions of dollars the backs of exceptional talent. The medical field built billion dollar research revenues from the genes of a black woman. The country advance due to slave labor. The media survives on the propagation constant traumatic suffering. Others promote incomplete narratives to preserve toxic lifestyles.

By the time you address all these things, you are too tired to care. You say I have no other option. When the final option comes, it comes with the same instant indifferent energy and eliminates the “problem” without hesitation. By the time we collective come to ourselves, we realize that we were lulled to sleep and cared too late. My’Khia did not have to die, but her being was set up for execution.

I want justice to be served. I want this young girl’s life not to be handled like a throwaway story. So, what do we do?

1. Rebuild the Village: How about we start with being human again. I don’t want to wait when we are mourning the death of someone to have to bring your butt out of hiding. I don’t want to commiserate about replayed trauma all the time. Every now and then, we should be talking about so much more. I want us to talk about building businesses, improving the working spirituality of our people, and securing the future of our children. We need to connect with our elders to understand our past. We need to have more time on the stoop, patio, park, etc. We need to teach care and respect for self not respectability politics. We must cultivate a safe haven for all of us. We must be able to workout our collective strategies and possibilities in humility and full respect of our sacredness as created in the image of God. We must dismantle and purge the commitment to slavery to unjust ideas that harm us, the disenfranchised, the least, the last, and the lost (Thank you Rev. Henry O. Leftridge, may you continue to rest in power).
2. Dismantle the Toxic: I am tired of being a target first and a human second. I am tired of watching our Black children being a target first and a human second. I am tired of Black women being seen as a target first and a human second. I am tired of voices crying and yelling for freedom being seen as overexaggerating. I’m tired of excuses by people attempting to maintain the status quo in the name of their comfort and convenience. The Bible teaches that you can’t put new wine in old wineskins. Why? Doesn’t the old wineskin have the capacity? Capacity is not the issue. Is the structure faulty? Yes. New wine’s potency will reveal that the old wineskin cannot effectively hold the wine. The reaction is so bad that the skin will burst open at the contact. We have to agree and move forward by understanding that the current structures are not capable of handling greater. We must remove the old and create all things new for greater possibilities.
3. Normalize the Desire for Better: We cannot continue to settle for a “crumb” mentality. We cannot continue to believe that we only deserve or strive for crumbs when God said we can have the whole loaf (Life and life more abundantly). We must begin to demand justice so that peace might truly reign. We must normalize respecting our brothers and sisters that achieve, grow, and accomplish greatness. We must not allow any entity to dictate our paths, value, or joy. Being treated as a human being is the bare minimum, but it is not the ultimate goal. Respect my worth everyday, because doing so will enhance your life and environment. Respect the fact that God made a table for me. Don’t try to steal from it, because it has my name on it. Honor the reality that I will not have my name or life placed in your hands to change my narrative. My real story is great without editing.

My’Khia did not have to die. I have reached my breaking point attempting to make sense of what does not. No more babble. No more justification for death. No more. No. More.

Many people that follow me on my social media platforms know me for two things. They know I am in ministry and that I enjoy cooking. Honestly, my cooking displays get more attention than posting about ministry. (Go figure..) My closest friends and family know that cooking is a type of therapy for me. It is the opportunity to work out my creativity, frustrations, and difficulties while focusing on the process of meal preparation. The process is my way making sure I stay accountable to the details. Cooking is not a burden. It is a joy that produces extreme gratification when the meal hits the high notes.

The problem that lies within cooking these days is the idea of the instant. Don’t get me wrong. Every once in a while, we must be grateful that instant and microwave exist for our moving existence. Yet, it is noticeable when one full prepares a meal from a microwave. Advertisers constantly present microwavable options to the masses as a suitable substitute for well prepared, crafted meals. The idea of the tv dinner was to be timely substitution for the meal accompanied by significant kitchen labor. No difference should have existed between the two methods except for time of preparation. The problem is that the desire for home cooked is so great that settling for less is nearly a crime.

The same mentality translates to our society regarding environmental and communal problems. People are constantly looking for information and narrative that have home cooked flavor, but they are settling for microwavable substitutes instead. Social media, the internet, and other resources have a place in the movement of information. They can be very valuable tools in gaining interest and attention on important matters of the day. However, people have become so reliant on their presentations that they no longer take the time to work through information, perspectives, and personal introspection. People arrive at microwaved conclusions and partake in lightly seasoned ideas. It is an amazing phenomenon.

Imagine this. A time existed when young people had to write out/type research paper, go to the library and pick out the references by hand, use 3×5 notecards to itemize bibliographical information on print resources and quotes from the book, place the research paper, bibliography, and notecards together in a folder for turn in order to prove the integrity of their study, research, and work. My generation is probably the last one that dealt with that mandate. The process was to make certain that we did the work necessary to establish our viewpoint and defend our position with credible information that we wrestled with for understanding.

Now, I can go online and know for a fact that their are many people who never had to deal with the rigor at all and it shows. It is like going and seeing someone post their plate of macaroni and cheese on Facebook. You can tell it has elements, but you know that it is Kraft. Ashy macaroni and cheese is evidence that nobody ever taught you how to go through the process of boiling your noodles, shredding your cheese, seasoning your pasta water, etc. Really good macaroni and cheese takes time. Good mac and cheese has evidence that you have taken time with it.

If a lesson is taught from the past year of a pandemic and uprising in the continued pursuit of justice, equality, and equity, we must get back to process and time to produce quality. How do we begin this process? We must enlist three important elements–thought, intelligence, and discernment.

1. Thought–We must come back consider how we fuel our thoughts and ideas. Many of the perspective that are presented today are devoid of key ideas of critical thinking. Most people go into subject matter believing that their perspective is the end of the story. The truth is that we are probably in need of reevaluating our ideas regularly. We need to take the time to investigate how good information really is. We need to see if this is prime or processed. Our thoughts are governed by personal leanings. If we are not compelled to examine a whole matter, then we will find ourselves constantly recycling ideas without solid merit or work. When our thoughts are fed properly, we will be able to possess proper lead ins to substantial conversations that will take us beyond argumentative mess.
2. Intelligence–We must have a filter that gives us the ability to use our thoughts and information effectively. I recognize that many people are full of information. Yet, they are devoid of the ability to use it to positively influence their environment. Intelligence is not the ability to make others feel small. Intelligence is not the capacity to hold information. Intelligence is the intellectual strategy of making information and work for all who can and will receive it. Whenever we gain information we have to find effective ways for the masses to consume solid, quality meat without skipping steps or trimming for convenience sake. We must present the whole platter where it is accessible, compelling, and intriguing.
3. Discernment–Without discernment, all the previous steps become an exercise in futility. We must have the ability to recognize where our skillset, information, and intelligence will be most useful. The Bible teaches us that we must be careful not to cast pearls to the pigs. We must be careful not to give useful knowledge to those who will consume with no plan to enhance their surroundings. Knowledge and information in the right hands will empower the powerless and disenfranchised. It will lift them beyond the elements of today into the prosperity of tomorrow. However, sharing with consumers can cause a burial under the dung heap of denial. We must know our role in the process and execute accordingly. We will continue to perpetuate cycles that can continue to cause harm.

I implore us all to continue to learning the importance of process. Recognize the value in cooking properly in the kitchen, society, and life. It will help you avoid food poisoning that will destroy your life…